By Bob Gregory
It’s not uncommon for an elderly couple to take care of one
another in their “Golden Years” and often, one becomes the caregiver for the
other. This is generally the fulfillment
of a promise made many years before in the form of vows. But what happens when the caregiver is no
longer capable of caring for their spouse?
This is a difficult time for your parents and you should monitor the
situation closely. Often, the couple is
afraid they will be separated and for this reason, they hesitate to reach out
for help, usually to their own detriment.
There are a few steps you can take to help your parents and yourself.
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| Old couple walking (Photo credit: davekellam) |
First, if one of your parents is the caregiver for the
other, you need to have a candid conversation with both of them regarding their
limitations to care for one another and the options available to them to keep
them together. Knowledge is power and it
can also bring comfort and encouragement so this is a step you need to take
before the caregiver can no longer care for the other. There are options for your parents that will
keep
them together for a long time.
Depending on the type and amount of assistance the parent needs, a good
option may be In Home Care. Not all In
Home Care is the same, so you will need to investigate which type of service
will fit your parents’ needs. Common
types of In Home Care included:
- Companion Services—provides recreational activities, visiting and supervision (adult sitting)
- Personal Care—included toileting, bathing, dressing, eating and exercising.
- Housekeeping/Homemaking—housekeeping, chores, meal preparation and shopping
- Skilled Care—includes services that require a licensed healthcare professional for injections, wound treatment, physical or mental therapy.
In Home Care may be a great step to not only keep your
parents together, but also keep them in their own home.
Second, you may want to consider an Assisted Living Facility
for your parents. Most facilities not
only allow but encourage couples to stay together. This will provide help for the parent who
needs the help, activities appropriate for both, and a healthy living
environment. If memory issues exist,
there are Assisted living Facilities that specialize or focus on Memory
Assistance. You should be able to find a
facility that is appropriate if you do your research. Some Assisted Living Facilities offer small
apartments so your parents will have a similar environment to their own home
but with help!
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| Old Couple (Photo credit: Up Your Ego) |
Finally, or at least in my list, you may want to investigate
Continuing Care Retirement Communities. Continuing
Care Retirement Communities offer a “tiered” approach to serving aging
residents. This type of facility will
let your parents receive the appropriate level of care each may need at the
same facility. Many will allow the
couple to continue to live together as long as the facility is capable of
providing the appropriate care. In the
event the couple has to be separated, they will at least be in the same facility
and be able to see each other as they like.
When one spouse is no longer capable of caring for the
other, an overwhelming fear of separation may occur clouding good judgment. The most important and reassuring thing you
can do for your parents is to educate them on alternative professional care
that will not only provide them with a higher level of care but will also allow
them to continue living together. If you
get involved early enough and educate your parents, they will feel comfortable
discussing their need for help as they become incapable of providing it for
each other. You should reassure your
parents that the need for professional help is not a failure; it is a wise and
loving decision.
If would like a list Independent Living Facilities, Assisted
Living Facilities, Nursing Homes or any other type of Senior Facility, I hope
you will consider www.seniorfacilityfinder.com.
If you would like to contribute your thoughts and ideas,
please leave them in our comment section. We want to hear them. Helping people
care for themselves or their loved ones is what we care about.
We look forward to reading yours.
Bob Gregory is an advocate
for Seniors and is one of the founders of www.seniorfacilityfinder.com. At SeniorFacilityFinder.com, we are dedicated
to helping families get the Elder Care help they need without having to provide
their personal information! If find you need an assisted living facility or
other type of senior facility, please consider www.seniorfacilityfinder.com
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