My elder parent needs assistance walking but won’t use a walker!

By Bob Gregory

It’s not uncommon to hear someone frustrated because their parent refuses to use any sort of apparatus to assist them with walking!  The comment is usually something like this: “my parent isn’t dumb, they know they need help they are just stubborn and defiant!”  You’re right, that’s the outward sign of not using a cane, walker or wheelchair but you may find there is a little more to it than that.  If we are lucky to live a long life, we will grow old and experience the changes that come with old age.  Most of us are familiar with some of the signs of aging such as increased wrinkles, grey hair, decreased vision and hearing and sagging skin here or there.  However, most of these signs can be masked with just a little work.  Beauty product companies get rich helping people ward off the signs of aging.  Ever purchased wrinkle cream, hair dye or even a little cosmetic surgery pick-me-up?  Aging gracefully is a term most people do not want to apply to themselves—fight aging as long as you can—or at least the outward signs!  That brings me to the walker issue.  There’s nothing on the selves you can buy to cover up the fact you need help walking and there’s nothing that symbolizes old age more than someone shuffling along behind a walker.  If you detect an underlying theme of vanity then you are still sharp!

Two (Photo credit: AstridWestvang)

In my experience, I’ve noticed two main reasons elderly people do not want to use any apparatus to help them walk.  First, it is vanity!  As I stated above, one of the stereotypes of aging is an elderly person using a walker.  There are younger people who need assistance, but I’m referring strictly to our senior citizens.  Our mobility is very important to us and it starts when we are young.  I remember many times attending play groups and hearing how young one of the children mastered walking over crawling—it was very important to that parent everyone knew!  Vanity is tough to overcome and if your parent is shunning a walker because it makes them look old, you've got a battle on your hands. (Chances are they won’t wear hearing aids either.)  There are some canes that are very chic and can complement an ensemble and make the user look distinguished.  However, I have never seen a walker or wheelchair look chic.

 (Photo credit: Ed Yourdon)

The second reason elderly people will shy away from a walker is fear.  Looks easy but it can be challenging if you have to depend on it to walk!  Fear of falling should be enough to encourage any senior to use a cane or walker but most are more afraid of falling with the apparatus then they are falling without it!  This is usually a misconception but it is real to them. There is also the fear of storage of the device in a public place such as on a bus, restaurant or at church.  Also, navigating through doors can be a bit of a challenge and escalators can be terrifying.  Practice makes perfect but that doesn’t change the fact they are afraid.  They are also afraid they will become completely dependent on the apparatus and will never walk on their own again. In this case, they are afraid of being without it so why get “hooked” on it to begin 

with—good sound logic, right? (Sarcasm alert)

So what do you do when your elderly parent needs assistance walking but refuses a cane, walker or wheelchair?  The first thing you need to do is figure out why.  You’re not going to hear them admit they are vain or scared so you will have to assume it’s one or the other or most likely a little of both.  Expect to hear that they really don’t need help all the time and it would be a waste of money.  If you follow my blog, you know I’m a proponent of getting assistance from your parent’s physician.  This is the person that is in the best position to explain the dangers of walking unassisted and potentially falling.  In some cases they may be able to prescribe physical therapy that will include training on the apparatus.  If not, you need to invest in some training for them.  Most companies that sell medical equipment will give training, tips and assistance to get your parent going so be sure to ask.  Also, put some time in yourself to help your parent become 

 (Photo credit: Kees van Mansom)

proficient with the apparatus.  If they are in an Assisted Living Facility or Nursing Home, there will be plenty of help by trained staff members.  Further, point out friends, neighbors or others your parent respects that use these devices to walk, this can help with the vanity.  As for the vanity, I told my mother she would look more presentable dressed up and using a walker than lying in bed in a body cast!  Didn’t really help much but eventually the fear of falling overcame her fear of using it!  I wish you luck and wish I had more suggestions.

If would like a list Independent Living Facilities, Assisted Living Facilities, Nursing Homes or any other type of Senior Facility, I hope you will consider www.seniorfacilityfinder.com. 

           

If you would like to contribute your thoughts and ideas, please leave them in our comment section. We want to hear them. Helping people care for themselves or their loved ones is what we care about. 

We look forward to reading yours.

Bob Gregory is an advocate for Seniors and is one of the founders of www.seniorfacilityfinder.com. At SeniorFacilityFinder.com, we are dedicated to helping families get the Elder Care help they need without having to provide their personal information! If find you need an assisted living facility or other type of senior facility, please consider www.seniorfacilityfinder.com

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Independent Living Facilities: A good “move”.

By Bob Gregory

There are many options for retirement living and they range from a beachfront home to a nursing home depending on the individuals age, health and wealth.  Today, a large segment of Seniors are in a transitional stage of retirement living and an Independent Living Facility may be just the right “move”!  Seniors in good health are keeping their homes longer and waiting to make the move to a retirement facility until they need help or can no longer keep a large house on their own.  This group of seniors is usually motivated to move due to safety reasons or they just can’t manage a household.  They are not ready for Assisted Living but they are beyond the years of wanting the activity and excitement of a 55+ Community.  So where should they look to downsize and have safety, comfort and companionship?  An Independent Living facility may be just the right move for them.

My mother chose an Independent Living facility for herself after she sold her home and decided to downsize.  She first chose an apartment community where some of her friends lived and enjoyed it for many years.  However, on a dark and stormy night (literally) she heard a knock on her apartment door and a young woman carrying what appeared to be a small child was begging for help and to be let in out of the storm.  My mother, being an untrusting person, peaked out the window and noticed a large man standing next to the door out of sight of the peephole and immediately called the police.  She was not hurt but the police told her she had experienced a very common scam from potential robbers to gain entrance to an elderly person’s home and commit robbery or worse.  This incident caused us to reconsider where my mother lived and we started our search for a secure community with amenities more in line with my mother’s age.  For her and many seniors, an Independent Living facility was a great transition.

Here are some of the advantages:

• Security and Assistance.  Most Independent Living facilities provide apartments in a secured building or community.  In the facility my mother chose, the entrances to the building locked at dark and a resident had to physically let a visitor in the door.  Most Independent Living facilities have some type of security and many have on premise security guards.  They also offer other safety features like panic buttons in the apartments to call for police and intercom systems to speak to guests trying to gain access to the building.  The communities are also designed for seniors so they have no slip floors, wheelchair friendly apartments and plenty of hand rails and elevators. 

Independent Living Centre - Easy-grip cutlery (Photo credit: johnmuk)

• Amenities and maintenance.  The majority of Independent Living facilities are maintenance free.  If a light bulb goes out, someone will come and change it for you!  Some facilities offer cleaning services as well.  Many have small shops, hair salons and transportation services.  Some facilities arrange for special delivery and pickup for laundry and pharmacy services.  Most have outdoor areas and  ardens to enjoy.  Make sure you compare to find the facility with the amenities most important to you or your parent.

• Appropriate Peer Group.  In an Independent Living facility you will find your neighbors to be in the same stage of life as you or your parent.  Socializing will be easier as you will have more in common with your neighbors.  My mother was part of a “buddy” group that watched out for one another.  They would check on each other to make sure everyone was safe or well.  These groups are very common and assure the residents someone is watching out for them.

Winter Reading Party
(Photo credit:
 Lansing Public Library, Lansing Illinois)

•  Activities and socializing.  Almost all Independent Living facilities offer some type of activities.  These range from outings to restaurants and theaters to in-house social (happy) hours and theme parties.  I noticed a lot of the activities had to do with food and eating!  There are usually scheduled exercise classes for all levels of fitness—probably because of the activities to do with eating and drinking!  Most facilities have a common area with books, magazines, television and music to encourage residents to gather and socialize if they like.  If the facility has a religious affiliation, they will have worship services on site.

• All Inclusive Rent.  You will find that most Independent Living facilities include everything in the monthly rental except for phone services.  Utilities such as water, electricity and cable are generally included so the resident doesn't have a pile of bills to pay.  Some will include housekeeping services if you elect.

You need to do your research and compare services and amenities to make sure you are getting exactly what you want and for the right price.  Some facilities are even subsidized by religious affiliations to provide a lower rent so you may want to inquire.  There is usually no restriction on owning and keeping an automobile on premise as most residents are very capable of driving.  Not all welcome pets so be sure to ask.  There are also generally age restrictions on household members so if you or your parent have taken on the responsibility of raising a grandchild, you may not qualify.  The Independent Living facility my mother chose gave her all the amenities and security she wanted.  It also allowed her to live independent for many years before transitioning to an Assisted Living facility.  For her, and hopefully you or your parent, an Independent Living facility is a good move!

If would like a list Independent Living Facilities, Assisted Living Facilities, Nursing Homes or any other type of Senior Facility, I hope you will consider www.seniorfacilityfinder.com. 

           

If you would like to contribute your thoughts and ideas, please leave them in our comment section. We want to hear them. Helping people care for themselves or their loved ones is what we care about. 

We look forward to reading yours.

Bob Gregory is an advocate for Seniors and is one of the founders of www.seniorfacilityfinder.com. At SeniorFacilityFinder.com, we are dedicated to helping families get the Elder Care help they need without having to provide their personal information! If find you need an assisted living facility or other type of senior facility, please consider www.seniorfacilityfinder.com

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What Safety Features should you look for in an Assisted Living Facility?

By Bob Gregory

Assisted Living Facilities are a great way to extend your independent living and still get the extra help you need with daily routines.   Whether you are considering Assisted Living Facility for your elderly parent or yourself, there are several safety features you will want the Facility that you choose to have in place.  Please don’t assume that all facilities have the same safety features as they may vary greatly from facility to facility.  However, there are certain safety features that all facilities must meet to pass the Fire Marshal’s inspection but even those may vary from State to State.  To be sure, you need to inquire and observe as you visit potential facilities.

Here is a list of safety features you may want to inquire and observe:

• Are the hallways and common areas equipped with hand rails?
• Are the floors in the rooms, hallways and common areas safe for walkers, wheelchairs and canes?
• Is there plenty of lighting both during the day and night?

  

  Blue Sign for Disabled Automatic Door
   (Photo credit: QuickLunarCop)

• Are the bathrooms equipped with matting, safety bars and signaling devices?
• Are seats for the shower provided or installed?
• Do the rooms/apartments have call devices for the resident to call for help?
• Are there loose rugs or mats in residents’ rooms or common areas that can cause slips and falls?
• Do doors automatically open for residents who use walkers or wheelchairs?
• Does the facility provide call devices for residents when they are not in their rooms and need help?
• Do the doors and windows have alarm/chirp devices to notify staff a resident has wondered out?
• Does the facility use security cameras to monitor exits, halls and common areas?

  

  Stair lift (Photo credit: dominiccampbell)

• Does the facility have onsite security guards or scheduled monitoring by local police?
• Are the parking lots well lit and easy to access?
• Are hot water heaters set at an adequate level to prevent scalding?
• Are residents required to use antibacterial lotion when attending dining or snack functions?
• Are their lifts on stairs for those who cannot navigate stairs?
• Does the facility have areas where the floor is at different levels requiring a step up or down?
• Are elevators monitored and do they have call features?
• Does the facility monitor rooms to make sure plugs are not over tasked with extension cords?
• Does the facility have a backup generator for power outages?
• Does the facility conduct regularly scheduled safety drills?
• Does the facility have a written emergency evacuation plan?

  

  Shower Seat
  (Photo credit: BigGreenYamo)

• Do caregivers have emergency call devices should they need assistance with a resident?
• If a resident leaves the premises, does the facility have a written policy for documenting when the resident left and when they will return?
• Does the facility provide a locking drawer or safe for valuables?
• Are visitors required to sign in and out?
• Are visitor badges required?

You should not only ask the questions but observe the features as well.  Have the person who conducts the tour point out the safety features and explain why they may or may not have some of the features listed above.  You will also want to observe residents who are confined to a wheelchair to see if they are left alone in common areas or is someone (caregiver or resident) with them at all times?  Take note of how well the staff seems to know the residents, as well as any visitors, that may be on premise during your tour.  Be sure to walk the entire facility and go in and out of each door to the outside.  Make sure the outdoor areas are secure by fencing or other structures to deter strangers from coming up to residents.  Finally, ask about the facilities safety record and ask if the police have been called to the facility for any reason within the last twelve months.  Don’t be discouraged if the facility you tour does not have every safety feature listed—some may have more and some may have less—just make sure they have the safety features you deem most important to you or your elderly parent.

If you find you need an Assisted Living Facility, Nursing Home or any other type of Senior Facility, I hope you will consider www.seniorfacilityfinder.com. 

           

If you would like to contribute your thoughts and ideas, please leave them in our comment section. We want to hear them. Helping people care for themselves or their loved ones is what we care about. 

We look forward to reading yours.

Bob Gregory is an advocate for Seniors and is one of the founders of www.seniorfacilityfinder.com. At SeniorFacilityFinder.com, we are dedicated to helping families get the Elder Care help they need without having to provide their personal information! If find you need an assisted living facility or other type of senior facility, please consider www.seniorfacilityfinder.com

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