I am being told parent will have to leave their assisted
living facility--what do I do?
By Bob Gregory
Most people are shocked to find out that their parent is
being asked to leave their Assisted Living Facility and equally as shocked to
find out that the facility has the right to ask them to leave. It is not uncommon that a resident is asked
to leave, but the circumstances under which they are asked to leave tell the
real tale. First, Assisted Living
Facilities do have the right to ask a resident to leave and there are a several
reasons they may do so, which we will discuss.
Second, most will give you an opportunity to work through any issues as
they are in business to provide a service for a fee and they value their
residents. Generally, reasons a resident
may be asked to leave can be grouped into two main categories: Service Issues
and Non-Service issues. It’s the second
category you don’t want your parent to fall into but we will discuss both so
you have a better understanding.
Service Issues:
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| Help Walking |
I have written many times that not all ALFs provide the same
level of service and therefore, their resident qualifications differ. ALFs are not Nursing Homes/Skilled Nursing
Facilities and they do not offer those types of services. Some come very close but there is a line
(legal) they do not cross. Once your
parent reaches the point that they need medical care beyond that provided by an
ALF, you will certainly be notified that your parent needs to be moved. The caregivers at ALFs are skilled at
recognizing the need for increased medical services and they will notify you as
soon as they feel it is imperative a change in facility is needed. You should still consult your parent’s
physician to confirm your parent needs to move and to Alzheimer’s that the ALF is
not equipped to handle. It can be other
issues as well, so seek medical advice and recommendations. Additionally, even if your parent’s physician
feels it may be a bit premature, keep in mind the doctor doesn’t spend as much
time with your parent as the caregivers at the ALF and they may see a more
immediate need. You will also save
yourself a lot of heartache if you don’t force the issue for your parent to
remain in their present facility if you are being told they need to go! Most facilities give enough notice that you
will have time to find the right Nursing Home and make a smooth transition in
order to minimize the stress on your parent and yourself as well.address the medical reason
behind the need. Many times it is a
result of an increase in severity of Dementia or
Non Service Issues:
This is the category you do not want your parent to fall
into! Most often this has to do with
your parent’s behavior and not their medical condition, although sometimes one
can cause the other. If your parent becomes
disruptive, abusive to residents and staff (physical or mental) or conducts
themselves in a despicable manner, they will be told to leave. It is always shocking for most children of
elderly parents to hear and for the rest of the population as well. To think that sweet Grandma or Grandpa could
ever conduct themselves so offensively as to be kicked out of an Assisted
Living Facility is mind boggling—but it happens! If you are notified that your parent’s
behavior warrants being evicted, you need to do some investigating.
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| The Agony of Waiting (Photo credit: drewleavy) |
¶ Hold
a conference with the ALFs director and caregivers to get a good understanding
of the issues, when they began and the opinion of the ALF as to why the
behavior. This is your first step to
understanding the situation and getting a time reference as to when the issues
began. You may find it started when your
parent moved in or some change in personnel or residents. I assure you the facility will have already
done a complete review of the case as they do not like to lose residents. They will be ready with specific examples,
times and the cause of the behavior (at least in their opinion). Make sure you ask for time to resolve the
behavior and see if they are willing to work with you.
¶ Have
a heart to heart conversation with your parent. I suggest you do that off-site
so they feel more comfortable being open with you. Become a listener and not a debater as your
parent explains their behavior. It is very
easy to try and offer counterpoints to issues your parent may discuss, but wait
until they’ve had an opportunity to fully explain themselves. You will find your parent more focused on fewer
issues if you do not debate as they may feel it is necessary to interject more
reasons to justify their behavior. Let
them speak freely and for as long as they wish and I assure you a theme will
arise out of the discussion. Hopefully
you will be able to address the issues and keep your parent in their
“home”. Be very careful how you discuss
the accusations and facts presented by the ALF so you don’t create a situation
where your parent isn’t willing to reconcile.
However, you need to get your parent’s side of the story as well as
their reaction to the ALF’s “findings”.
¶ Get
your parent to their physician immediately to see if there is a medical reason
behind the behavior that the ALF did not recognize. Certain drugs can cause patients to become
belligerent and unruly so you will need to make sure that is not the
cause. Also, the lack of medication can
do the same. The caregivers will see to
it your parent gets the pills and takes them, but if they later spit them out,
mental health can cause issues so medication
may be all that is needed to alleviate the problem. Seek medical advice! they won’t know until the behavior changes.
Also, certain changes in
¶ Hold
a post-investigation conference with the Director and appropriate staff. If you are attempting to reconcile, it is imperative
your parent attend and conduct themselves properly. This is your opportunity to relay your
findings during your investigation with your parent and your parent’s doctor
and reconcile the issues presented by the ALF.
If you are successful and your parent remorseful, your parent may get a
second chance to be part of the ALF community again even if it is on a trial
bases. Generally, a medical condition is
recognized by the ALF so most of the time the Non-Service reason a person is
asked to leave is willful misbehavior - so don’t get your hopes up.
Assisted Living Facilities value their residents and thus it
is uncommon that a resident is told to leave the facility unless it is due to a
Service Issue. However, there are those
rare times when Non-Service Issues cause an ALF to tell a resident to
leave. If you find your parent is one of
those rare exceptions, keep in mind that the facility is looking out for the
welfare of its residents and staff and they don’t take this action
lightly. I also caution you not to make
your home or that of a sibling a short term fix until another facility can be
found. This may be just the result your
parent seeks with their disruptive behavior.
Finally, there are drugs that can be prescribed if your parent’s
physician deems it necessary to help your parent.
If would like a list of Assisted Living Facilities, Nursing
Homes or any other type of Senior Facility, I hope you will consider www.seniorfacilityfinder.com.
If you would like to contribute your thoughts and ideas,
please leave them in our comment section. We want to hear them. Helping people
care for themselves or their loved ones is what we care about.
We look forward to reading yours.
Bob Gregory is an advocate
for Seniors and is one of the founders of www.seniorfacilityfinder.com. At SeniorFacilityFinder.com, we are dedicated
to helping families get the Elder Care help they need without having to provide
their personal information! If find you need an assisted living facility or
other type of senior facility, please consider www.seniorfacilityfinder.com
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