By Bob Gregory
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| Tool to support end of life pathway (Photo credit: sicamp) |
As the child of an aging parent it can sometimes be
difficult to discuss end-of-life decisions. Will my parent think I am expecting
or waiting for them to die? Will I hurt their feelings by asking their feelings
about end-of-life care? It can be a daunting task, but it is imperative that
your parents’ wishes be legally documented. This discussion needs to take place
before your parent becomes ill or incapacitated. You can open the conversation
by explaining to your parent that you are concerned that if they become ill you
will have to make medical decisions for them and you need their help
understanding their wishes. Most children and parents feel a greater emotional
bond after they have discussed end-of-life care. Once you have discussed these
issues with your parent the following legal documents will guide family members
and healthcare providers in your parent’s medical care if they are unable to
speak for themselves.
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A Living
Will is a document that conveys your parent’s wishes about the use of
life-sustaining medical treatments at the end of their life. It is used to
guide health care providers and loved ones in making medical decisions. Some
states do not allow families to make health care decisions for a loved one
without a Living Will, so your parent needs to understand that this is for
their protection. In most states, two physicians must certify that your parent
is unable to make medical decisions before their Living Will becomes effective.
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| Last Will And Testament (Photo credit: Ken_Mayer) |
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A Healthcare
Power of Attorney is a document that appoints someone (a Healthcare
Surrogate) to deal with medical situations if your parent cannot make decisions
for themselves. This person will make sure your parent’s wishes are honored and
will address healthcare issues that cannot be addressed in writing. Your parent
should appoint someone who they know will honor their wishes and be strong
enough to make difficult decisions. It does not have to be a family member, but
it should be someone who will communicate openly and honestly with the family.
Your parent should have a lengthy discussion with their Healthcare Surrogate
about their wishes. For example, if your parent has a terminal illness do they
want artificial nutrition and hydration if they are no longer able to take them
by mouth? Do they want to be put on a respirator if they cannot breathe on
their own? By discussing these types of scenarios the Healthcare Surrogate will
have an understanding of what your parent’s wishes are.
Both of these documents are vital for your parent’s end-of-life
medical wishes to be followed. If the Healthcare Surrogate is unavailable to
make decisions, your parent’s Living Will can guide decision making. Most
states have both of these forms available.
After these documents have been completed, copies should be
given to your parent’s physician and family members. Your parent needs to
communicate with family members why they chose the person that will be their
Healthcare Surrogate and that this person will be the only one making the end
of life decisions and interpreting the Living Will. Finally, your parent should consider having a
Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) in place and many Senior Facilities require forms such
as these to be in place when your parent becomes a resident. The DNR requires a more in-depth conversation
and we will address the DNR in future writings.
If you find you need an Assisted Living Facility, Nursing
Home or any other type of Senior Facility, I hope you will consider www.seniorfacilityfinder.com.
If you would like to contribute your thoughts and ideas,
please leave them in our comment section. We want to hear them. Helping people
care for themselves or their loved ones is what we care about.
We look forward to reading
yours.
Bob
Gregory is an advocate for Seniors and is one of the founders of www.seniorfacilityfinder.com. At
SeniorFacilityFinder.com, we are dedicated to helping families get the Elder
Care help they need without having to provide their personal information! If
find you need an assisted living facility or other type of senior facility, please
consider www.seniorfacilityfinder.com.
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