Independent Living Facilities: A good “move”.

By Bob Gregory

There are many options for retirement living and they range from a beachfront home to a nursing home depending on the individuals age, health and wealth.  Today, a large segment of Seniors are in a transitional stage of retirement living and an Independent Living Facility may be just the right “move”!  Seniors in good health are keeping their homes longer and waiting to make the move to a retirement facility until they need help or can no longer keep a large house on their own.  This group of seniors is usually motivated to move due to safety reasons or they just can’t manage a household.  They are not ready for Assisted Living but they are beyond the years of wanting the activity and excitement of a 55+ Community.  So where should they look to downsize and have safety, comfort and companionship?  An Independent Living facility may be just the right move for them.

My mother chose an Independent Living facility for herself after she sold her home and decided to downsize.  She first chose an apartment community where some of her friends lived and enjoyed it for many years.  However, on a dark and stormy night (literally) she heard a knock on her apartment door and a young woman carrying what appeared to be a small child was begging for help and to be let in out of the storm.  My mother, being an untrusting person, peaked out the window and noticed a large man standing next to the door out of sight of the peephole and immediately called the police.  She was not hurt but the police told her she had experienced a very common scam from potential robbers to gain entrance to an elderly person’s home and commit robbery or worse.  This incident caused us to reconsider where my mother lived and we started our search for a secure community with amenities more in line with my mother’s age.  For her and many seniors, an Independent Living facility was a great transition.

Here are some of the advantages:

• Security and Assistance.  Most Independent Living facilities provide apartments in a secured building or community.  In the facility my mother chose, the entrances to the building locked at dark and a resident had to physically let a visitor in the door.  Most Independent Living facilities have some type of security and many have on premise security guards.  They also offer other safety features like panic buttons in the apartments to call for police and intercom systems to speak to guests trying to gain access to the building.  The communities are also designed for seniors so they have no slip floors, wheelchair friendly apartments and plenty of hand rails and elevators. 

Independent Living Centre - Easy-grip cutlery (Photo credit: johnmuk)

• Amenities and maintenance.  The majority of Independent Living facilities are maintenance free.  If a light bulb goes out, someone will come and change it for you!  Some facilities offer cleaning services as well.  Many have small shops, hair salons and transportation services.  Some facilities arrange for special delivery and pickup for laundry and pharmacy services.  Most have outdoor areas and  ardens to enjoy.  Make sure you compare to find the facility with the amenities most important to you or your parent.

• Appropriate Peer Group.  In an Independent Living facility you will find your neighbors to be in the same stage of life as you or your parent.  Socializing will be easier as you will have more in common with your neighbors.  My mother was part of a “buddy” group that watched out for one another.  They would check on each other to make sure everyone was safe or well.  These groups are very common and assure the residents someone is watching out for them.

Winter Reading Party
(Photo credit:
 Lansing Public Library, Lansing Illinois)

•  Activities and socializing.  Almost all Independent Living facilities offer some type of activities.  These range from outings to restaurants and theaters to in-house social (happy) hours and theme parties.  I noticed a lot of the activities had to do with food and eating!  There are usually scheduled exercise classes for all levels of fitness—probably because of the activities to do with eating and drinking!  Most facilities have a common area with books, magazines, television and music to encourage residents to gather and socialize if they like.  If the facility has a religious affiliation, they will have worship services on site.

• All Inclusive Rent.  You will find that most Independent Living facilities include everything in the monthly rental except for phone services.  Utilities such as water, electricity and cable are generally included so the resident doesn't have a pile of bills to pay.  Some will include housekeeping services if you elect.

You need to do your research and compare services and amenities to make sure you are getting exactly what you want and for the right price.  Some facilities are even subsidized by religious affiliations to provide a lower rent so you may want to inquire.  There is usually no restriction on owning and keeping an automobile on premise as most residents are very capable of driving.  Not all welcome pets so be sure to ask.  There are also generally age restrictions on household members so if you or your parent have taken on the responsibility of raising a grandchild, you may not qualify.  The Independent Living facility my mother chose gave her all the amenities and security she wanted.  It also allowed her to live independent for many years before transitioning to an Assisted Living facility.  For her, and hopefully you or your parent, an Independent Living facility is a good move!

If would like a list Independent Living Facilities, Assisted Living Facilities, Nursing Homes or any other type of Senior Facility, I hope you will consider www.seniorfacilityfinder.com. 

           

If you would like to contribute your thoughts and ideas, please leave them in our comment section. We want to hear them. Helping people care for themselves or their loved ones is what we care about. 

We look forward to reading yours.

Bob Gregory is an advocate for Seniors and is one of the founders of www.seniorfacilityfinder.com. At SeniorFacilityFinder.com, we are dedicated to helping families get the Elder Care help they need without having to provide their personal information! If find you need an assisted living facility or other type of senior facility, please consider www.seniorfacilityfinder.com

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• How to Select a Senior Friendly Apartment

Coping with an angry parent moving to a nursing home

By Bob Gregory

               by Patrick Doheny

The decision to move an elderly parent to a Nursing Home can spawn quite an array of emotions for both the caregiver and the elderly parent.  There will be wide swings of acceptance, denial, understanding, mistrust sadness, depression, loss and yes, anger.  These emotions may change daily or even by the minute depending on your elderly parent’s physical and mental health.  These emotional swings make it very difficult for the caregiver to plan and organize for a move and it can often cause arguments and tenuous relationships. As a caregiver, you must stay focused on why the decision to move your elderly parent was made and the benefits it will bring to your parent.  In most cases, the decision to move a parent to a Nursing Home is not one of convenience but one of necessity and if you are like the majority of caregivers, you have waited as long as possible to move your parent.  In an earlier post, I discussed dealing with the guilt of making the move, but what about dealing with an angry parent?

There may be, and probably will be, many times you will have to deal with an angry parent who lives in a Nursing Home but for now I am going to discuss the anger that can arise out of the decision to move your parent and the move itself.  There are actually many reasons a parent may become angry and some have to do with medical reasons, I’ll leave the discussion of those to the medical experts.  However, I do encourage you to make sure you have consulted with your parent’s physician about this type of anger.  Here, I am discussing the anger that generally occurs due to loss.  Loss is a big concept and encompasses many components such as separation, deprivation and bewilderment.  The move to a Nursing Home will certainly

English: Robert Plutchik's Wheel of Emotions (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 create feelings of separation and deprivation.  The most basic loss is their home and possessions and the more complex loss is that of control over their own life.  Separation and deprivation from physical possessions can certainly create anger—ask anyone who has lost something or had an item stolen!  If you have younger children or raised children, then you know taking a cherished possession away can cause a lot of anger.  In addition to physical possessions, the loss of control of making one’s own decisions can cause anger.  Have you ever been told you were going to do something you did not want to do or did not agree to do but were made to do it?  Finally, there is the anger caused from simply not being able to take care of one’s self.  If you have ever attempted a task and failed miserably at completing what appeared to be a simple task, then you know the frustration can quickly turn to anger.  Try assembling anything that comes with instructions that begin with “some assembly required” and you’ll know what I mean!

So we know where the anger stems, but how do you deal with the anger?  I personally experienced the anger and resentment of a parent who did not want to be “put” in a Nursing Home and it is not a pleasant experience.

Here are a few tips to deal with the anger:

ü  Make sure you are confident in your decision.  I know that sounds simplistic, but not everyone makes the decision to place a parent in a Nursing Home strictly for the benefit of the parent.  If you are confident in your decision, then you will be strong in your resolve.  If you indicate to your parent that the decision may be premature or could be postponed, you will only create greater anger and mistrust.  Make sure you involve professional help including your parent’s physician and possibly a family counselor if necessary.  You will definitely want your parent to hear their personal physician recommend the move; it won’t alleviate the anger, but it will be provide you with additional confidence.  If you have siblings or other family members, make sure they don’t undermine your decision.

ü  Avoid the debate.  This is not an easy task but it is necessary for your own piece of mind.  Once you have had the discussion with your parent and have confirmed the decision, then avoid rehashing the reasons.  Continuously debating the decision will not change the decision nor will it help your parent accept it.  Be respectful and remind your parent of the reasons the decision was made, but do not debate the merit of the reasons behind the decision.  Also, avoid pointing out inabilities of your parent that further confirm your decision, this will only encourage your parent to attempt the task to prove you wrong and may result in injury.

ü  Include your parent in the search for the right Nursing Home.  This one is a little controversial and there are often as many reasons not to include your parent as there are to include your parent.  However, this may be more for yourself than your parent.  You probably will not find much help in the selection process but attempt to include your parent on tours and discussions.  Don’t be afraid your parent’s anger will become a road block to acceptance by a Nursing Home, their staff is used to this and are trained to manage the anger.

ü  Have a positive attitude and share your emotions with your parent.  It’s hard to be verbally abused by an angry parent pointing out every flaw they can imagine and be positive, pleasant and loving, but that’s exactly how you have to handle them. This is not time to “fight fire with fire” and if you are suckered into doing so, you will find yourself feeling angry and guilty.  Try not to placate your parent’s attacks by agreement, it’s easy to do (You never loved me—yes, you’re right I never loved you).  This type of banter only adds fuel to the fire of anger!  There will be those moments when your parent may refuse to speak to you, and this is a perfect time to let them know how you feel about the move.  Most children experience a sense of failure as they find they do not have the ability or skills to provide the care.  Sometimes sharing your emotions will help your parent but for the most part, it will help you.

Counseling (Photo credit: Alan Cleaver)

ü  Listen to the advice of the Nursing Home.  Once you have made your choice, engage the staff at the Nursing Home to help you.  As I stated earlier, they are trained and accustom to angry parents and they will have suggestions and techniques to help with the transition.  One of the toughest requests a Nursing Home will make is for you to stay away and have no contact for at least three days.  Some may find this request unsettling and some may find it a relief but I advise you to comply!

     This is the period where your parent will find they must rely on the staff for care and help.  Even the angriest parent knows the old adage “don’t bite the hand that feeds you”.  This period will not cure the anger toward you, but it will certainly help your parent acclimate and give you assurance.

ü  Don’t avoid the visits.  Once your parent has moved in and you are past the three day period (may be longer or shorter depending on the facility) make sure you make scheduled visits.  It’s tough when you know your parent is receiving good care to put yourself in a situation to deal with the anger, but you need to visit and you need to bring good cheer.  Be positive and happy on your visits and keep your parent occupied with family news and pictures.  If they are not receptive to your visit, make it short and relay as much positive feedback from the facility as you can to your parent and share whatever news from the family you can squeeze in and then give your parent a firm day and time you will return.

ü  Personalize your parent’s room as much as possible.  This can be tough as there is usually very limited space but try to place as many items that remind your parent of happier days as you can in the room.  Refer to the items and the joy they represent every time you visit.  If your parent isn’t speaking to you, then you will have something to speak to them about!

In the majority of cases, the anger will pass and it will happen much quicker than you may expect.  It will be rough at first but work through it with some of the suggestions above.  If the anger and hostility doesn’t subside in an acceptable time frame, consult the staff and your parent’s physician—it may be a sign of a more serious issue.  Once you have worked through the anger, leave it behind!  Focus on the future and the happiness or contentment your parent has achieved.

If would like a list of Assisted Living Facilities, Nursing Homes or any other type of Senior Facility, I hope you will consider www.seniorfacilityfinder.com. 

           

If you would like to contribute your thoughts and ideas, please leave them in our comment section. We want to hear them. Helping people care for themselves or their loved ones is what we care about. 

We look forward to reading yours.

Bob Gregory is an advocate for Seniors and is one of the founders of www.seniorfacilityfinder.com. At SeniorFacilityFinder.com, we are dedicated to helping families get the Elder Care help they need without having to provide their personal information! If find you need an assisted living facility or other type of senior facility, please consider www.seniorfacilityfinder.com

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Are 55+ Communities measuring up to the hype?

By Bob Gregory

In a previous blog post, Are you 50+ and ready to start living the good life?, I listed the 10 most common advantages of a 55+ community for your consideration.  Since that post, I have had conversations with a lot of individuals who live in 55+ Communities and I have received some mixed reviews so I would like to do a little clarification and add some additional advice!  Florida, my state, is filled with retirement options but not all are created equal nor do they come with the same price tag.  I thought I would offer you some of the comments from individuals who seemed to be dissatisfied and then offer some ways to avoid finding yourself in the same situation.

Comments and Rebuttal:

1. The community is full of us “old” folks and there are no young children running around playing or teens to keep us young and active.  Alright, it’s a retirement community and there is a reason they are advertised as 55+ Communities.  Yes, you will see the occasional grandchildren visiting but it’s not like a typical family community where you have every age.  Consider whether you are ready for that type of an environment.  Most people move to a 55+ Community to put that part of their lives behind them!  Further, make sure the community you choose is active enough for your taste. 

Mature couple playing golf
(Photo credit: SalFalko)

2. The activities are really tailored to those who want to sit around and play card games or watch reruns of movies—not much excitement.  I mentioned in my introduction that not all 55+ Communities are created equally and this is true.  You will find communities with every type of activity you can imagine from golf to horseback riding to boating.  You have to do your research and make sure the community you choose has the activities you like.  Also, keep in mind this is a capitalistic market so you get what you pay for!  If you visit enough of these communities, you will find some have parties almost every night of the week and offer more amenities than you can imagine.  You may have to be willing to relocate to find the community that has everything on your wish list so do your research.

3. It seems like everyone holds an “office” at our community and the politics are unreal! Most planned communities have “resident boards” that help manage certain aspects of the communities and this is also true in 55+ Communities.  The resident boards generally oversee the maintenance of the residences to help protect property values and planned activities such as dances, cookouts etc. For most communities, these resident boards are helpful and provide a needed service but there may be one or two who take their “office” very seriously!  As in any community, avoid the politics and back

   

   Dancing all the time (Photo credit: Julie70)

    biting as much as possible.  Be sure and inquire whether the community you are interested has a resident board, officers and their functions.   Also ask how the officers are elected and how long the current officers have held the position.  If the same people have been in office forever, it could be a warning sign. 

4. As soon as I make good friends, they either move to a nursing home or pass on.  We are all on a journey through life and as we age, our “stops” become more discernible.  Yes, friends will become incapable of taking care of themselves and some will pass on but this is all part of life regardless of where you live.  The difference is in a community where most residents are within five to ten years of your age, this type of separation will be more apparent.

5. I can’t believe how much it costs to live in a 55+ Community!  Earlier we discussed you get what you pay for and nothing can be more true when choosing a community with top of the line amenities.  If you want to live on a golf course, with beach access or even beach front homes, you can bet you are going to pay a lot.  In addition, the more services that are provided, the higher the cost.  If you 

   

   Chairs On The Beach (Photo credit: kenteegardin)

   want concierge service, maid service, fine dining and open bars, your price is going to be much higher.  You need to shop around for the community that not only has the amenities you desire but also the price you can afford.  In Florida, you will find a 55+ Community that fits almost every price range with a variety of services.

Most people who gave me comments were very positive and reiterated most of the ten most common reasons to live in a 55+ Community that I had listed.  The majority said they would not leave their community and there were very few items they would even change.  I believe these people did their research and asked the right questions.  Make sure you speak with as many residents as possible and not just the “tour committee” handpicked to answer your questions.  Ask to attend a couple of social events and see the turnout compared to the resident count of the community—that will tell you a lot!  Finally, if you find a place that caters to your particular desires and needs, you’ll find there is no hype! 

If would like a list of 55+ Communities, an Assisted Living Facility, Nursing Home or any other type of Senior Facility, I hope you will consider www.seniorfacilityfinder.com. 

           

If you would like to contribute your thoughts and ideas, please leave them in our comment section. We want to hear them. Helping people care for themselves or their loved ones is what we care about. 

We look forward to reading yours.

Bob Gregory is an advocate for Seniors and is one of the founders of www.seniorfacilityfinder.com. At SeniorFacilityFinder.com, we are dedicated to helping families get the Elder Care help they need without having to provide their personal information! If find you need an assisted living facility or other type of senior facility, please consider www.seniorfacilityfinder.com 

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Preserve and improve your memory

By Bob Gregory

This past Saturday was the 16^th Annual USA Memory Championship held at Con Edison in New York.  These competitors are gifted, but like any competitor, they also train for the event.  Of course these competitors are relatively young, but it made me wonder if we should be helping our elderly parents improve memory and fight memory loss by doing a little memory training.  Everyone experiences normal memory loss and according to the British Medical Journal, it can occur as young as age 45!  Testing demonstrated that younger participants had a much lower memory decline (3.6%) while older participants (65-70) showed the greatest decline of nearly 10%!  The article also suggests that being heart healthy has an impact on memory and that diet and exercise can also help.  So what can we do for ourselves and our elderly parents?

Here are some tips on helping prevent and improve memory loss:

1. Eat healthy and exercise!  We all know the benefits of eating healthy and exercising for weight, heart and general wellbeing, but taking care of our hearts can have the added benefit of preserving and possibly improving our memories.  The August 2012 Harvard Womens Health Watch suggests a diet which contains items from the Mediterranean Diet:

The Mediterranean diet includes several components that might promote brain health:

Mediterranean diet (close up) (Photo credit: grobery)

·         Fruits, vegetables, whole grains, fish, and olive oil help improve the health of blood vessels, reducing the risk for a memory-damaging stroke.

·         Fish are high in omega-3 fatty acids which have been linked to lower levels of beta-amyloid proteins in the blood and better vascular health.

·         Moderate alcohol consumption raises levels of healthy high-density lipoprotein (HDL) cholesterol. Alcohol also lowers our cells' resistance to insulin, allowing it to lower blood sugar more effectively. Insulin resistance has been linked to dementia.

Along with your healthy diet, don’t forget to exercise!  Not only does exercise improve your health, it can reduce stress and help you sleep.  Aerobic exercise tends to be the best for memory but you should consult your physician who can recommend a safe and effective routine for your level of health.

2. Focus on one task and avoid multi-tasking.  I’ll admit there are times you cannot avoid being a multi-tasker—ask anyone with young children.  However, as we mature we should take the time to focus and complete one task at a time.  This will produce a much higher quality result and help preserve and improve your memory.  The steps to a single task are much easier to comprehend and retain than many steps to different tasks all at the same time—makes senses!
3. Organization and routines are a great way to preserve and improve memory.  If you are organized and keep everything in their respective place, you should be able to find what you need and remember where they are kept!  If you have one particular place you leave your car keys every time you come into the house, you will have a much easier time finding and remembering where they are placed.  If 

   

   Organisation (Photo credit: Sean MacEntee)

   you ever ran around the house looking for your keys, you know I’m right!  Also, keeping a daily routine can help.  Most of us perform the same tasks every single day, such as eating sleeping, bathing, chores and so on.  By keeping a routine, you will be less likely to forget items that need to be accomplished.  For example, if you need to take medication, make sure you take your medication the same time everyday and associate it with an activity you always perform, such as eating a meal.
4. Participate in activities that cause you to concentrate.  Some experts point to games to help memory and there are a lot of free online games—just Google it!  Others suggest writing or keeping a journal of your day to help improve your memory.  This can also be very therapeutic if you need to express 

   

   memory game (Photo credit: jessica wilson {jek in the box})

   yourself but don’t want to do it verbally!  Reading is another great way to improve memory.  Once you've completed the book, take the time to write your own review and see how much of the detail you can include.  Socializing can also help as friends often reminisce about the good ole days and that can help your memory.  Speaking out loud requires you to recall and organize your thoughts so they are verbalized in a comprehensible manner.

 If you don’t intend to try some of these tips to help your memory, then don’t expect your elderly parent to do so!  This is an excellent opportunity to help yourself and your elderly parent as well.  I suggest you lead by example and include your parent in as many of these activities with you as possible.  Also, keep in mind that not all memory loss is natural and it can be a sign of a more serious issue such as Dementia, Alzheimer’s or Depression.  Make sure you seek professional help to determine whether your memory loss or your elderly parent’s is natural or something more serious.  Finally, there are several drugs on the market that your physician may recommend to help you or your parent so be sure and discuss any issues you may have.  I hope some of these tips are all you need to preserve and improve your memory!

If you find you need an Assisted Living Facility, Nursing Home or any other type of Senior Facility, I hope you will consider www.seniorfacilityfinder.com. 

           

If you would like to contribute your thoughts and ideas, please leave them in our comment section. We want to hear them. Helping people care for themselves or their loved ones is what we care about. 

We look forward to reading yours.

Bob Gregory is an advocate for Seniors and is one of the founders of www.seniorfacilityfinder.com. At SeniorFacilityFinder.com, we are dedicated to helping families get the Elder Care help they need without having to provide their personal information! If find you need an assisted living facility or other type of senior facility, please consider www.seniorfacilityfinder.com

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Is it Dementia or is it Depression?

By Cynthia K. Klinowski, RN, MSN

Was your parent always the life of the party, telling entertaining stories and cracking jokes?  As a parent were they caring, affectionate and supportive?  Did the stories fall away?  Did you stop hearing from them; they weren't interested much in your life anymore?

What has changed?  Depression goes undercover among our older population, yet more than 6.5 million of the 35 million Americans aged 65 and older are affected by depression, according to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI).

Senior depression has many causes, but foremost are retirement, a sense of purpose, the death of a loved one, isolating oneself, financial worries and medical problems.  Heart disease, chronic pain and chronic illnesses, such as diabetes and kidney disease, are triggers for depression.  Sometimes, prescription 

A depressed man sitting on a bench
 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

medicines, in particular some pain killers and sedation medications, also trigger depression.

There are many reasons why depression among our seniors may be difficult to spot:  Because of the stigma associated with seeking this kind of (mental health) treatment, depressed people may try to hide their predicament.  Also, the depressive state may cause individuals to isolate themselves from friends and family and keep them from their regular activities.

Detecting depression in seniors also may be tricky because many signs of depression are attributed to the aging process itself:  A lack of energy, loss of appetite, disrupted or less sleep—these are all things we expect as we age.

But they need not occur, and sometimes the result of depression—not age.  There’s a decreased level of energy as we age.  And the elderly sleep less in general, but depression makes it harder for them to get a good night’s sleep.

Learning about people's experiences of dementia (Photo credit: The Prime Minister's Office)

Some notable signs of senior depression include irritability, physical complaints and cognitive impairment.  Depression sometimes can mask itself as someone having dementia, but you treat the depression and the normal cognitive function gets back to normal.

This is why anyone who suspects a loved one may be depressed needs to help that individual seek treatment.  Fear of dementia interferes with seeking treatment, but an individual’s loss of cognitive skills may be caused by untreated depression.  Not only is the depression treatable, but some forms of cognitive impairment 

respond well to treatment.

Relationship proves to be the key to detecting depression and getting a loved one to seek medical help.  Get an individual feeling safe, and they may trust you to help them.  It’s really hearing what a person saying and meeting their needs.

While some physical ailments can trigger depression, the depressive state can worsen pre-existing medical conditions.  Statistics show that when depression is treated in the elderly, the outcome of their physical illnesses improve.  Pay attention and seek medical attention to help diagnose Depression or Dementia.

If you find you need an Assisted Living Facility, Nursing Home or any other type of Senior Facility, I hope you will consider www.seniorfacilityfinder.com.       

If you would like to contribute your thoughts and ideas, please leave them in our comment section. We want to hear them. Helping people care for themselves or their loved ones is what we care about. 

We look forward to reading yours.

Cynthia K. Klinowski, RN, MSN, is a co-owner and senior medical officer of several Assisted Living Facilities in Florida and a guest blogger for SeniorFacilityFinder.com

Bob Gregory is an advocate for Seniors and is one of the founders of www.seniorfacilityfinder.com. At SeniorFacilityFinder.com, we are dedicated to helping families get the Elder Care help they need without having to provide their personal information! If find you need an assisted living facility or other type of senior facility, please consider www.seniorfacilityfinder.com

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Eating or Dining?

By Cynthia K. Klinowski, RN, MSN

In a follow up to my previous post, “What’s on the Menu?” , guest blogger Cynthia K Klinowski offers us the following thoughts:

Good nutrition is eating a well-balanced diet every day.  A basic well-balanced diet is the same for everyone, including the elderly.  Although older people need the same nutrients as younger people, in most cases they do not require as many calories.  The challenge is to choose foods that are nutrient dense, that is, high in nutrients in relation to calories.  For example, skim milk is considered more nutrient dense than whole milk because it has the same nutrient content but contains less fat and fewer calories.

040 The Dining Hall
 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Elements of a well balanced diet include water and five vital nutrients:  proteins, fats, carbohydrates, vitamins and minerals.  A nutritious, well-balanced diet for ALF residents is composed of foods from the basic four food groups:  Fruits and Vegetables, Bread and Cereals, Milk and Milk Products, and Meat and Meat Substitutes.  These food groups supply key nutrients.

Menu planning for an ALF include many components.  In addition to being nutritious and well-balanced, there are time constraints.  No more than 14 hours may elapse between the end of the evening meal and the beginning of the morning meal.  All other meals should be spaced so that not less than 2 hours, nor more than 6 hours elapses between the end of one meal and the beginning of the next.  Planned snacks must also be incorporated into the meal plan.

English: Balanced Diet
(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Menus must be planned at least one week (preferably a month) in advance.  All menus, both regular and therapeutic, must be reviewed annually by a registered dietician.  Portion sizes must also be indicated on the menu.  Meals served in an ALF are required to meet the Tenth Edition of the Recommended Dietary Allowances (RDAs) established by the Food and Nutrition board, adjusted for age, sex and activity.

While following all of the rules and regs the ALF menu must also provide foods which are familiar and maintain a connection to the resident’s past life experiences, especially those that recall pleasant times.  Many older people prefer familiar items and will not eat new foods.  This provides an additional challenge for the dietary department.

chef (Photo credit: StuRap)

So how does the Dietary Department prepare interesting, tantalizing, delicious meals?  By hiring well trained credentialed chefs all of the pieces are brought together by incorporating the food pyramid concept.  Substituting within the same food group and varying the foods that are served.  Trying new foods as each food group has many items from which to choose.  Use fresh food whenever possible, especially when seasonal foods are available from specific regions.  Prepare foods in different ways using new and revised menus.

One visit to an ALF will illustrate how important mealtimes are to the residents.  They sometime begin lining up 30 minutes or more before serving time in anticipation of the meal.  This being said, the last thing anyone wants is to disappoint the residents with a meal experience that is not a positive one.  The meal time provides socialization and interaction with other residents, dietary staff and the visitors.  The meal table is one of the last bastions of social grace.  Providing a gracious elegant dining area adhering to the rules for proper table etiquette enhance the dining experience.  Remember that the ALF setting is very much a part of the Hospitality Industry and service must show it.

If you find you need an Assisted Living Facility, Nursing Home or any other type of Senior Facility, I hope you will consider www.seniorfacilityfinder.com.       

If you would like to contribute your thoughts and ideas, please leave them in our comment section. We want to hear them. Helping people care for themselves or their loved ones is what we care about. 

We look forward to reading yours.

Cynthia K. Klinowski, RN, MSN, is a co-owner and senior medical officer of several Assisted Living Facilities in Florida and a guest blogger for SeniorFacilityFinder.com

Bob Gregory is an advocate for Seniors and is one of the founders of www.seniorfacilityfinder.com. At SeniorFacilityFinder.com, we are dedicated to helping families get the Elder Care help they need without having to provide their personal information! If find you need an assisted living facility or other type of senior facility, please consider www.seniorfacilityfinder.com

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My parent claims someone keeps stealing from them in their Senior Facility—what to do?

By Bob Gregory

Sooner or later you are going to get the call or hear your elderly parent tell you that some is stealing their “stuff”.  When you do get the call, and you will, prepare to do some investigating before getting everyone at the facility involved or making a big deal out of the claim.  I have personally received the same call, numerous times, and you do need to investigate but have an open mind that there might not be a “thief”.  Most Senior Facilities are safe and have strict policies regarding thief by employees and residents, however, theft does occur.  When you do get the call, you need to know that there are several reasons that your parent believes they are the victim of theft.

Reasons your parent may claim they are victims of theft:

1. First, claims of theft can be an early sign of memory issues.  Memory issues are the most common reasons residents of senior facilities believe they are victims of theft.  The claims usually involve small personal items that are left in common areas, other resident’s rooms or thrown out.  They may also be missing because they were given to another person as a gift.  You need to investigate carefully, check with other residents and staff to see if they have seen the item or know of the disposition.  Be careful not to accuse anyone of theft while you investigate.  You will probably find the staff can help you locate the item or tell you of the disposition as they are usually very observant and know their residents well.  I also noticed my mother would hide items for fear of theft and forget 

   

   Boris the Burgular Neighborhood Watch Sign (Photo credits: mysafetysign.com)

    here she hid them.   If you suspect your parent is having memory issues, please have them evaluated by a physician as there are medications that can help.
2. Second most common reason for claims of theft is what I refer to as “casual borrowing”.  This occurs when other residents help themselves to items that they may honestly believe your parent does not mind them having or using.  Yes, it is still a form of theft but it is not the malicious criminal type.  For example, my mother always kept an expensive bottle of hand lotion by her bed and needed to replace the bottle almost weekly.  The bottle was large enough that it should have lasted at least a month with daily use.  Residents and staff alike would apply a little to their own hands when they visited her room and before I knew it, I was investigating who was “stealing” my mother’s hand lotion.  Simply putting the bottle in a drawer remedied the thievery!  There were also occasions where friends would place a sweater over their shoulders when visiting her room and leave with it on.  Sooner or later it would be recovered but not after I was summonsed to do a complete and thorough investigation—“casual borrowing”!

   

   Thief (Photo credit: FotoChesKa)

3. Finally, no matter how secure or reputable the facility, items do get stolen.  This category usually involves valuable items such as jewelry or money.  If your parent is the victim of theft, notify the facility immediately of the item or items that appear to be stolen.  Give them an opportunity to investigate to make sure it is theft and not one of the two reasons mentioned above.  Finally, make a police report so there is a formal investigation and to support any insurance claim.  Generally, items are rarely recovered when there is true theft involved so don’t get your hopes up.  Also, encourage your parent to give a statement to both the facility and the police that is as detailed as possible.  Accusations of theft that are unsupported can create a very tenuous environment with other residents and staff, so be sure and let the police and the management of the facility conduct the investigation.

Safety of person and property are always important when choosing a senior facility so be sure you ask about theft before you decide.  Once your parent moves in, there are several things you can do to help your parent prevent theft of any type.

• Keep valuable items secure and locked away.  If your parent’s room does not have a locking cabinet or safe, check with the facility to see if they have a secure safe where your parent can check valuables in and out as they need them.  If not, consider keeping valuables at a family member’s home.
• Make sure articles of clothing are clearly labeled with your parent’s name so they can be identified in 

  

  Picture of a burglar alarm detection point.
   (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

  the event they are borrowed.  This is very common and simple to do but it is often overlooked.
• Make sure your parent has plenty of storage space, especially cabinets and drawers where they can keep small items that tend to get borrowed out of site.  Encourage them to keep their room orderly so items are not misplaced and easy for them to find.  This is a good activity you can do with your parent when you visit.
• Make sure valuables are insured and keep a detailed list.  It is also a good idea to take pictures of the valuables and store them at your home so you can easily provide them to the facility’s management and police if necessary.

Keep in mind the senior facility is your parent’s home and they should feel safe and comfortable.  In most senior facilities, resident’s doors are open and friends come and go freely so you do have to be careful for all the reasons I listed above.  It’s not always malicious theft, and usually isn’t, but that doesn’t make your parent feel any better about the “loss”.  In the case of the missing hand lotion I encountered, simply putting the bottle out of site solved the problem.  We also purchased a less expensive bottle to leave out for those who wished to borrow lotion when in her room…I noticed it didn’t disappear as quickly!

If you find you need an Assisted Living Facility, Nursing Home or any other type of Senior Facility, I hope you will consider www.seniorfacilityfinder.com.       

If you would like to contribute your thoughts and ideas, please leave them in our comment section. We want to hear them. Helping people care for themselves or their loved ones is what we care about. 

We look forward to reading yours.

Bob Gregory is an advocate for Seniors and is one of the founders

of www.seniorfacilityfinder.com. At SeniorFacilityFinder.com, we are dedicated to helping families get the Elder Care help they need without having to provide their personal information! If find you need an assisted living facility or other type of senior facility, please consider www.seniorfacilityfinder.com

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